“He also serves who only stands and waits.”
John Milton
But I want to be on
the frontlines, I say. Can I at least
work part time and cook dinner for my husband? I’m sick of just drinking tea and knitting things
and recovering from things.* I'm so over this. I want to do something which
doesn’t feel like nothing.
I think those things as I grapple with the way things are, my lot.
* You may think: but drinking tea & knitting is my idea of paradise, as is not having to go to work. All I can say is that several weeks of rest each year is beautiful, but indefinite waiting is hard.
And then I heard the above
quote by blind poet John Milton - and stopped fighting.
I’m not the General and I don’t know what the plan for the
battle is. I’m one of the troops, and if I’m sent here or there or not sent at
all, that is where I am meant to be. This is my role at the present, and by
patiently waiting and accepting it, I am serving. It re-dawned on me how
sufficient that is. God hasn’t forgotten my assignment, and if I can bear it
well, that is a life well spent.
“To be blind is not to be miserable. Not to be able to bear
blindness is miserable.”
John Milton
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