words for wednesday {page 15, happy healthy resolutions}

I have been topsy turveying around feeling perplexed in relapse land. I lose the plot emotionally when I relapse, so it's double trouble.

I decided: time to give my body a chance to snap out of hazy land into energy land and hopefully driving land again soon. Ben is such a great taxi, but it really does make our lives more complicated. I am on Day 7 of quitting fructose – I know, bye-bye fruit, dried fruit, honey... caffine had to go too {and I said bye to processed sugar a long time ago}. No more midday date hits and crashes, and hopefully a move towards a sharper brain and more energy. If you know me, you will know how much I love my English Breakfast tea - my sacrifice just proves how much I want to get well.

But despite saying bye to my frienemies, I feel excited. Buckwheat pancakes, peanut butter chocolate truffles, hummus, leafy greens, nuts, jasmine green tea, and healthy granola. It’s actually a delicious feast, thanks to recipes from Sarah Wilson’s blog and beyond. 

I’m also doing breathing exercises/mindfulness to help calm my ever stressed self down. I trialled my new ‘belly’ {which I prefer to call tummy} breathing at the hairdresser this week under that sneaky black cape, and I returned without having felt anxious, told a lie, or having developed a headache. I didn’t even lie down afterwards! I can’t express my delight at finding a technique which helps conserve energy.

Ben and I also realised that in the kafuffle of moving and ‘settling,’ {which is really code for ‘not feeling settled at all’ and 'missing Melbourne'} we haven’t been doing things we enjoy very much. We used to have happy little family traditions; daily walks to the Parklands to watch the dogs play, going to buy incredible gluten free fruit loaf from the bakery on Saturdays, watching romcoms. Lately it’s all been survival, and not much enjoying – and I have a strong feeling that if we did more enjoying and just being content here we might settle better. We have re-committed!

It could be a placebo effect, which is fine by me, because I don’t care what makes me feel better, or it could be a combination of eating great food, breathing, enjoying walks outside and being positive...but I’m feeling a tiny bit better. I appreciate this little step forward.

{the other night I went to youtube for a laughing/cute animal fix, but I cannot beat this hair accident one which naturally went viral.}