Thursday, April 26


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i lie on the couch for the hundredth day
the flat is so silent, so still, so alone.
my heart feels this grief it cannot say...
i wish for a voice and i wait by my phone.
how many years will this illness linger on?
i hoped it’d be two, but it’s already three,
i wonder if sobbing would make it be gone.
i want to feel well, live a life pain free.
i long to study, to walk out that door...
and not return home till 6 pm.
 then flop on the couch, and not be sore,
and spend the evening with energy spare.
i have a good week, and i dare to hope,
then a rough patch which knocks back me down.
sometimes i feel i cannot cope -
in this storm, in this black, i might drown.
i used to be strong – to study, to work
but now i can barely remember those days...
my whole world has changed, greyness lurks,
and i feel this sorrow as my body decays.
why was it me? and will i get better?
and how do i keep plodding along?
i wish You would tell me, write me a letter.
i struggle to smile, to laugh, sing a song.
but there is a glimmer amid the pain...
that helps me strive to dance in this rain.
this life is a moment compared to the next.

This is my sickness song. It's worth the listen.
by Casting Crowns

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